Police arrest Germaine Greer for ‘possession of life’

11Jul08

  

 

     NEW YORK: Renowned feminist writer and journalist Germaine Greer was arrested on Wednesday after a High Court ruling that she is morally unfit to possess human life. In a dramatic chain of events, her Los Angeles apartment was stormed by the LAPD who quarantined the celebrity and took her into custody before a large crowd of shocked onlookers.

     Police chief Warren Redding told journalists that the celebrity feminist had been arrested for ‘possession of life’, and that the charge was made possible by leglislation made just hours prior to the arrest.

     Greer was denied legal representation under the new laws which prohibit her ability to communicate, travel, learn and physically interact with society.

     Without a hearing or court case it is expected that Greer will be whisked away directly to prison where she will spend the rest of her days in an isolated sound-proofed chamber without windows or ventilation. The officer who took Greer into custody called the arrest ‘a beautiful day for reason.’

     The arrest was prompted by her latest book All Men Are Evil in which she describes the male gender as ’scum which derive from parasitic maggots in Hell.’ The opening paragraph of the book tries to dispel the laws of gravity and the relationship between space and physics. 

     Germaine Greer has come under fire several times for controversial statements, most recently for lambasting the late Mother Theresa as a ’self-disrespecting lowlife’ and calling Hillary Clinton’s loss to Barack Obama in the Democratic nomination race “a slow-motion holocaust against women everywhere.”

     Friends and relatives of Greer are expected to lodge an appeal at the High Court to demand her release, but reportedly understand that she cannot endanger reason by making any public statements. Ever.

Filed under: Satirical News   |  1 Comment
Tags: Germaine Greer, Satirical News